What is in it for me?

Calling "it" for the other
I have found that it is not so much trying to hide from God that is the problem. The answer to my rampant sinfulness was never found until instead of trying not to sin I allowed God to change my desires and situation for me and in the mean time humbly stumble towards Jesus. And of course, we hide because of the lack of love in the church. It must be the other way around. In the company of fellow believers one should feel comfortable to be honest about their spiritual journey.

It is understanding that it is only God in us who can do Good. That is why we must call "it" for the other. It's like playing hot potato. One is never left burning alone. The odds are in our favor that when we think outside ourselves we connect to the good that is in us by partnering with Christ who is perfect love thus bringing about the 4th dimension which is the kingdom of God.

The Circle of grace
What I have come to realize about grace is that it is given to us by God so we can extent it to others. It is the conduit that makes the body of Christ flow. When God says "My grace is sufficient for you", I take it to mean that there is something I can do to be Jesus in the life of another. It helps me to think outside myself and propels me into kingdom living. Grace is not doing it with grace like a ballerina.. it's giving the person some slack. ie: not judging but interacting together as the church in the kingdom. Grace is not expecting anything... It's less of saying it like it is and more of just being humble before God. This way we won't be offended.. acting out of hurt but be more able to dispense love thus grace.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Busom budies

I moved to the GTA when I married. So my husband's friends became my friends. In the year and a half that I have been here I went out and did an activity with only one women. She is the only one that fascinated me enough to be inconvenienced for. We were similar in that we had the same age and had never given birth. Surrounded by new and older mothers I new that their was a lot we could talk about. Now does that mean that if she lived in the area we could be bosom buddies?

"A friend loves always and in adversity shows himself to be closer then a brother" I think that when you have many things in common the relationship comes easy but it is when one thinks outside themselves and starts to love meaning relate with a person self sacrificially that effort towards bonding is made. I am reminded of Paul who God comforted through Titus. If we interact in love without judgment we are a friend to any member of the body of Christ. And that is probably the most biblical understanding of friendship.

My ultimate connection is with my husband. Other then that I don't look for a friend but to be one as I interact with believers that have different gift sets then me. I think that having a common purpose is a great umbrella for friendships too. So because we share a cottage with certain individuals... they are my friends.

As to sharing the good news to unbelieving friends.... our love for Jesus should permeate our interactions and instigate questions on their part. The spirit prepares and cultivates the hearts. We the body must actively feed the poor and help those who are in need. It is a different concept of what the world thinks a BFF is. Friends purposefully let's God's kingdom and will be done.

Am I what they think I am?

Ok here it goes...

If Anorexia is a disease then it is only decent that those who choose to believe a myth propagated through global thought only judge themselves. If we release each other in turn we are not pressured into and identity. Only by accepting ones self and appreciated ones present surrounding that change can be made. Each of us is the power for change of perspective. A beautiful body comes as a result of developing flexibility and core strength. The muscles have a way of wrapping around the bone in a way that gives definition and elongates legs. Our body, mind and soul breath, oscillates and interacts constantly with what surrounds and encompasses us. That is why awareness of reality and the joys that come from the things that hurt us makes us grow. Sometimes we get stuck... and an area of living sphere needs a lot more attention. Everyone is someones subjective in that we should not be affected by the reaction of those around us but project unto others love by giving each other grace. Letting others explore their beauty will be easier when we imbue unto them inherent qualities since everyone of us is a gem and is the perfect piece our generation and space in time puzzle.

Fashion fads are art in motion. I find them interesting and exciting. They are a visual gift and the size of models on which the clothes hang perfectly should not deter us from processing our world and fulfilling its uniqueness. Enjoy looking through styles and dress up or down that body of yours. Make peace with it for it is your tool to actualize your soul in this life. Don't use standards that you don't live by. Either reject something or cling to it. Don't judge yourself by the standards you are not abiding by. Why should we mind if a women parades herself to gain control. It's only a character trait and maybe it is a form of art who cares. Don't let you life become a quagmire. I am what I am and by the grace of God I am free not to associate myself to a stereotype.

On that thought, I am going to take a sowing class and learn how I can create perfect fitting clothes that fit my size. These days I am in a fitness period of my life. I started yoga and I am enjoying how it is affecting my being. I still weigh the same thing but I have gone down a few sizes. Maybe another good thing would be to "Throw away the scale". Healthy living and beauty from the inside recalibrates our exterior but remember, if we take a closer look, periods of extravagance can be rewarding. It is important to get over our selves and enter into community. I can accept the love and support of our world, neighbors, friends and family because through Christ the perfect love, God unites with me empowering me to think within a cosmic reality. Life and you are beautiful now.

I don't think it matters if models are skinny if that is the cross they bare. Some people smoke for a while and then stop. No one is healthy all of the time. I don't understand "lay women" who allow themselves to be judged by the zero standard in the first place. If we don't acknowledge it, it won't exist. Only through exercise for the purpose of health and communal satisfaction should thinness be exalted or aspired to.. But if you are in that kick then so be it, accept it then either stay in it or move on. If we take a closer look many of our hangups come from hurt. Why let that be? We should act from a place of contentment..... in Christ I am made whole and no longer have the need to react from my hurts or store painful memories. Diamonds are made under pressure. Sails ships move with the wind.

Well that is a mouth full.... I got to go to bed. Thanks for listening. Let me know what you think?

#1 - In Conversation with Brian McLaren

My virtual home church.

Children photography

Photographers have a big responsibility since their is the signature on the image not the stylist or make up artist... Therefore I don't think stradelling the fence is a good place to be when working with children. The media should be responsible and take on the perverted agenda by discussing these issues in their shows. Their is a vibe been promoted on the family channel everyday. (Zoe 101, Hannah Montana...) I would love to see a photo shoot shot through the eyes of a child. I'd be curious to see how they see themselves.

My esteemed self

A model is as good as her last job. Then the model must start all over again the rejection process. One needs to find stability outside the industry in order to be able to handle the stress. Here is how I went about it....

A photographer asked my employer (aunt) when i was 13 if I could model. She said no without asking me. I only found out years after I had started modeling locally and internationally... I was 23. My work reflects my life. In the end it is good to have faced sorrow before entering this world. I was able to look for the adventure not the destination. Modeling became my ticket to enter a life full of culture and unheard languages. I've learned I can be more effective when I lower my expectations for the future and am ecstatic about the present. My goal is set on an eternal perspective . I aim to embrace and interact with what surrounds me by extending grace to those around me. (ie: giving a hand to those in need.) That is where my heart is. I first learned to build the right walls by exposing myself to pain. It is as if I tested all types of experience to understand how people live. I then realized the world was full of pain so I took what I new of Jesus and applied it to how I store information in my psyche. soon I started to adapt my action/reaction triggers. Each of our personalities has its roots in what we attach importance to from our often difficult lives. When one attaches a usefulness to the pain it becomes a mere frustration in our one track life. That is how I do it now. My self worth comes from knowing I am used of God. I want to be his hands and feet. Less of me more of others is a nice change. I now live in the now with an eternal perspective.

We all have a chance to build our self esteem from scratch. Many reevaluations take place throughout our lives. Our society is a conglomerate of faulty creatures. God is in the business of rebuilding broken lives. Their is so much hope ahead.

Side trips

Ode to my skateboarding days.. Building ramps and skating empty pools was so much fun. When I first went to Europe I carried with me my skateboard and my base plus a whole bunch of technological devices and books. I eventually learned to travel lighter... much lighter. But as a result I stopped both and opted for day trips in the alps. It became much easier to just rent a snowboard.

First trip to Milan

My first trip oversees was in Milan. I got lost in the subway for a while since I did not know that Uschita ment exit. It took me a week to start understanding where I was stop following other models to all castings like a zombie. After 3 months without a job my booker took me aside and told me I was to go back home. Well, you can be sure I shed a few tears but went straight to one of the best agency I new at the time. As soon as I became a part of their agency something in me changed. I felt proud but forgot to put their name next to mine on the casting sheet being so used to write the old one down. So the client called the old agency to put me on option. They proceeded to trash me saying that I was not reliable and partied all of the time. They in turned replied... well that perfectly fits the women's profile for the Casio G-shock commercial we are looking for. So that is how I booked my first international job and when I started to tell others if asked that I am a model. The funny thing is that soon after, it became evident and I no longer had to answer the question. Now I am back to answering it but that is another story.

Theories on size zero

Ok here it goes...

If Anorexia is a disease then it is only decent that those who choose to believe a myth propagated through global thought only judge themselves. If we release each other in turn we are not pressured into and identity. Only by accepting ones self and appreciated ones present surrounding that change can be made. Each of us is the power for change of perspective. A beautiful body comes as a result of developing flexibility and core strength. The muscles have a way of wrapping around the bone in a way that gives definition and elongates legs. Our body, mind and soul breath, oscillates and interacts constantly with what surrounds and encompasses us. That is why awareness of reality and the joys that come from the things that hurt us makes us grow. Sometimes we get stuck... and an area of living sphere needs a lot more attention. Everyone is someones subjective in that we should not be affected by the reaction of those around us but project unto others love by giving each other grace. Letting others explore their beauty will be easier when we imbue unto them inherent qualities since everyone of us is a gem and is the perfect piece our generation and space in time puzzle.

Fashion fads are art in motion. I find them interesting and exciting. They are a visual gift and the size of models on which the clothes hang perfectly should not deter us from processing our world and fulfilling its uniqueness. Enjoy looking through styles and dress up or down that body of yours. Make peace with it for it is your tool to actualize your soul in this life. Don't use standards that you don't live by. Either reject something or cling to it. Don't judge yourself by the standards you are not abiding by. Why should we mind if a women parades herself to gain control. It's only a character trait and maybe it is a form of art who cares. Don't let you life become a quagmire. I am what I am and by the grace of God I am free not to associate myself to a stereotype.

On that thought, I am going to take a sowing class and learn how I can create perfect fitting clothes that fit my size. These days I am in a fitness period of my life. I started yoga and I am enjoying how it is affecting my being. I still weigh the same thing but I have gone down a few sizes. Maybe another good thing would be to "Throw away the scale". Healthy living and beauty from the inside recalibrates our exterior but remember, if we take a closer look, periods of extravagance can be rewarding. It is important to get over our selves and enter into community. I can accept the love and support of our world, neighbors, friends and family because through Christ the perfect love, God unites with me empowering me to think within a cosmic reality. Life and you are beautiful now.

I don't think it matters if models are skinny if that is the cross they bare. Some people smoke for a while and then stop. No one is healthy all of the time. I don't understand "lay women" who allow themselves to be judged by the zero standard in the first place. If we don't acknowledge it, it won't exist. Only through exercise for the purpose of health and communal satisfaction should thinness be exalted or aspired to.. But if you are in that kick then so be it, accept it then either stay in it or move on. If we take a closer look many of our hangups come from hurt. Why let that be? We should act from a place of contentment..... in Christ I am made whole and no longer have the need to react from my hurts or store painful memories. Diamonds are made under pressure. Sails ships move with the wind.

Well that is a mouth full.... I got to go to bed. Thanks for listening. Let me know what you think?

One or the other

Always evolving, I welcome responsibility joyfully. Marriage has given me roots and a lifetime perspective that I did not have. Seeing my garden and kids grow has been wonderful as if I now am interconnected in the civilization of this time.... instead of hovering across borders, I now enter into the precise. I treasure the many facets my life has taken on so far. What an adventure. There is infinity in both the micro and telescopic.