The more I know the less I fear

People say that often when a couple adopts it results in a pregnancy. I have been blessed with 3 amazing step kids so I don't feel the need to adopt. I just would like to make a little person. When I voice it it sounds weird and even a little selfish. I put it in God's hands.  Most of the time I don't let myself be bothered with the idea of pregnancy until the topic comes up again and I have to do something about it and trust God some more. The stage of infertility that I am in right now is about knowledge. To the outsider it may look like i'm obsessing and to some extant I am.  I spend all my time online researching and keeping a graph of my symptoms and temperatures. I admit it is stressing me. I cried a bunch last week but that was more out of desperation for not understanding why it could not happen to me... not even a miscarriage. I'm surprised how fertility docs don't give you tools but like any changes that have happened in my life it's only when I have said "enough is enough" that I have done the work needed.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Pieces of a puzzle

After a few days searching the topic on the Internet I feel empowered for the first time. I am now realizing that there is so much to learn and just in the last two days I've changed considerably my focus. I now care both about my cervix which I mean to find and track and about the quality of my mucus which before was only an inconvenience not a piece of the puzzle. I will also be looking into TCM namely acupuncture. I don't expect to get pregnant right away or who knows maybe at all but my goal is to understand my reproductive system better to help facilitate TTC having decided not to go the ART way. I hope to put to good use my machines and tools.

Today was day one. Yeah!!!! I got to everything on my list.

Fall tune up

September 24 2010... I started TAM for the first time. I did about 6 months all out and went from 135 to 115 then I was more off then on for the remainder of the year. So on my one year anniversary marker, I've decided to begin once again to make huge efforts so i can finally get through the 3 months TAM meta hip. Of course having a trip down south to celebrate at end of november will be an exciting reward to look forward to. Well that and this could be the last time I can look hot before getting pregnant. God knows. I just weight myself... 125.5. I've gained 5 lbs since the end of the summer. I'm still happy with my looks but it's now time to tighten everything up again. I will take a picture in the morning and measurements to track my progress.

The other aspect of my fall tune up is a more pro active approach to TTC before the window is shot for good. I will now be tracking my basal temperature and test my PH level. The Ovacue reading will have to wait when I receive the monitor. supplement wise i'll be taking Baby and Me vitamins, Folate, Apple Cider Vinegar, Iron, Magnesium, DHEA, Progesterone and Gainefesin. I've been reading quite a lot on fertility and as elements of it start to make more sense and I receive the products i've ordered I'll change this up accordingly. Actually the iron is because I supposedly have no reserve which i've been taking through put the summer along with the DHEA drops.

I also started Oil Pulling again. I really feel my nails are better when I do it and take a sip of SOLE about once a day. I also juice a bunch of my veggies and weeds once a week. Then I take the roughage and stew it with water in a crop pot overnight. Once strained I drink this through out the week. I'd love to find out exactly what nutrients are in that drink. My dad always drank the water from the boiled veggies. It's seems a normal thing to do.

Here is the schedule i'd like to maintain.

7am: Take basal temperature and Ovacue reading. Have sex.
7h30am: Oil pull and meditate (read/ write/ pray).
8h00am: Have a Vega shake or oatmeal with fruit.
8h10am Stretch and do TAM every week day morning.
9h30am: Shower and get ready.
10h30am: Office.

My life prayer

God use my inability to control my self. Please give me wisdom. May the love culture of Jesus imbue my reactions so that in time, instinctively i will live the fruit of the Spirit and the good works that you have prepared for me. So that whether I know something to be good and don't to it or even if i am unaware of the malicious intent behind the harmful reaction.. May the result somehow contribute to aleive the suffering of those around me... with the intent to promote kingdom growth. Less of me and more of you.

I can see how controlling certain reactions by disarming the hurt that caused it be helpful that's why I choose to set my mind on thing that are pure and seek to in the moment partner with the Holy Spirit by positionally being in Christ. Thank you for making me whole!

Me


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Here are a few lifestyle changes I am contemplating to promote fertility and youthfulness.

1. Apple Cider Vinegar: drink 2 T with 1/2 t of baking soda in water. And bath in it.
2. Get my hands on some transdermal Magnesium. Which triggers DHEA
3. Start Oil Pulling again.
4. Barley Grass: http://sproutpeople.org/barleygrass.htm
5. Dates:
6. Robutussin: Determine your ovulation schedule. Take Robetussin like the label suggests beginning a few days before ovulation begins and continuing for 4-5 days. It will increase cervical mucus thus increasing the chances the little sperm will swim well! I believe the Guaifenesin increased our chance of getting pregnant along with prayer and agreement from my husband."
7. B12: Food high in B12 such as liver, oysters, and clams. for implantation of the fertilized egg, for carrying the fetus to term, and for producing a baby with a strong immune system as well as a neurological system. It is also necessary for male fertility, (sperm count, motility, and erectile function).
8. B6: 
9. Vitamine C: If a women wishes to hold a baby, it is very important that vitamin C is needed. What the vitamin C does it causes the baby to hold. Collagen is what holds the baby, and vitamin C is needed for the collagen production required to convert lysine and proline into hydroxylysine and hydroxyproline, which is a major component of the collagen. The other amino acid is glycine. So collagen is actually made up of primarily glycine, lysine and proline. The vitamin C is needed for their conversion. To help reduce miscarriage therefore at least 1000 mg of lysine, 1000 mg of proline and 2000 mg of glycine amino acid a day, plus 1000 mg of vitamin C two or three times a day, I believe is sufficient for the baby to hold. "One common cause of infertility is that the eggs do not stick to fallopian walls, in that case taking some vitamin C in form of sodium ascorbate will help this problem."
10. borax thing works both men and women, and it increases the chance of pregnancy when both parties take them. On men's side it increases sperm count and volume, and women it increases their hormones to normal levels, while the glycine blocks free radicals from free fatty acids that blocks sex hormones.
11. evening primrose gel caps

go to https://ssl.scroogle.org/

type in : "low follicle stimulating hormone" 


Akaline: http://www.earthclinic.com/Remedies/alkalizing_formulas.html

What a beautiful summer we have had. We started off with 11 days in Finland when we reacquainted ourselves with relatives, tried new tastes and learned some new words. My husband's family is from there and we brought our teenagers so they might learn what it means to be Finnish. of course I brought my my weed plant book and kept referring to it while we walked from castle sites to old mils mountain, along hikes and city escapades. I found kindred spirits on both my husband's cousin and his aunt. They showed me their books and what they new of plants and I showed them which weeds I eat back home. When we returned to the island the garden had dried up even though my in laws did their best to water it while we were away. The tomatoes had bud rot and sported a distorted shape. I cleaned up the dry stuff and proceeded to water everything using the 4 wheeler and trailer we bought earlier in the summer. More cousins came and we continued to enjoy happy family times another week or so. I went back to work for august so we started coming up weekend until we decided to go to my sister's wedding in New Zealand. We stayed one week and met fantastic people. What a beautiful family she married into. Now i'm back at the cottage for the week wi my brother and his family. We now have running water which helps tremendously. Every time I turn it on a do a little happy dance. Well that about wraps it up.

nature or nurture

In the end I did not bring up any new plants or soil. I spent my time figuring out wether or not to keep the black caterpillars on both wormwood and my rose bush. Now that I'm trying to build an favorable ecosystem for beneficial insects, esthetics of plants is not my only interest. Some plants serve as hosts to the larvae of Moths and Butterflies. Sometimes that is enough.

I also weeded the garden. It's hard for me to destroy any plants that finds it's way in my domain. I realize now that I have a panoply of Shepherd's Purse, Purslane, Polygonum persicaria and  Chikweed. So I moved some unwanted plants to either the compost pile, under a rock or ate them.

Time to take it easy.

I'm pretty much done bringing plants up north. At least that is what Mr. L says and he has a point. Our gardens are looking full. What is needed though is some posts to hold the tomatoes and grapes vines. I think I will spend some time tidying up and just take it easy for a change. For the last two years we have gone go go go non stop and we are tired of it. Mind you life is a lot easier now that we have the 4 x 4 and trailer that goes with it. All we do now is load the material from the boat to the trailer then drive up through a path we made in the woods. The place is looking stellar.. both in and out. Maybe we'll hook up the water pump this weekend. What a change that would be. No more doing dishes by hand or bringing up buckets to water my plants. Although, I am a lot less stressed out about my gardens now that i've been lending nature a hand for the past 4 years. Plants grow because that is what they do. A dry spell or windy boat ride never kills them. ;) 

Do and be done

I really love working at the office. This week MR. L. left with a friend to go put in windows and I decided to stick around the office cause I had so much to do with implementing the workflow systems but I saw that no one had time to pick up the social media ball so I stepped up and E-handled it. So I've become the go to on  many levels. It's nice  to  do something that I can see tangible results from. Today is the flash mob dance. I did manage to practice it one late night albeit semi-heartedly but this morning it's early we've already scored mucho points, Cary is puting on my high performance summer tires and I'm gonna do some retweeting for our client, fold clothes and do so some stretching... who knows maybe even an MS of sorts.

It's inevitable, my love for free flow has taken over. After weeks of reading on companion planting and intense square planting I've gone for it... Now my goals is to thin out the extras as I've open casted all my seeds. ;)

The little seedlings I brought from town, not wanting to have another green house living room debacle... Have not all mare it. We don't yet have running water so the green house is a no no zone... And planting is hit and miss.

So my goal this year is to keep at it and see what does grow in unreliable conditions. I love random and convoluted ways so I'm hoping this style of gardening is finally effective. Soon I won't have to worry about it anyways. Water galore!!!!!!

Mr L. buit an insulated bunker for the water tank and a place for his tools. Video to follow.

The workers are putting up the siding. I'm for the first time thinking mmmmmmmm I should be at work instead of working here at the cottage.

I have not had the time to do any rehabilitating work on my back. It's sore but I'm working lifting and hauling... It feels good to be alive.

Get now yesterday's hopes

Why is it that nothing happens until new plans are made thus dropping the value of what I would have gladly been waiting for to a mere inconvenience.  Could it be that there is a law of sorts in play here? When you stop wishing for something and start looking forward to something else what would otherwise be a good news becomes somewhat of a nuisance.

This past weekend, Mr L. and I spend an effectively arduous weekend at the cottage. He hauled uploads of building materials, balanced our 4 wheeler between a flimsy dock, the boat then on the island etc. I on the other hand finally got to relocate the Asparagus to a freshly made permanent bed. I loved being in nature every day talking back to the Peregrin falcons and trying to understand what my relationship will be with the rapacious squirrels. The last morning I heard the big crow fly over the island just as it had last year sounding the end of the rule of the falcons for the season. I did not hear them for the rest of the day and hope that when we go back up today for the remainder of the week they will still be there. If not I'll know that it's seasonal and that they will be back next spring.

I was sore on Monday but since this was going to be a short work week and it still will be relatively speaking I had no time to go get adjusted at the chiro. This priority shift is a good sign. Work is taking over. I hope to be able to incorporated some TAM here and there. My workouts have not resurfaced as a priority yet though. ;( The plan was to head up early this morning for the cottage and spend the remainder of the week there since we will in in town this weekend. I was disheartened to find out late yesterday that I had a casting today at 5pm  Now I'll have to drive up by myself since  Mr. L. has to bring up more material. I much prefer to be the passenger and read out loud from our book of the month. Oh well, good thing the sun sets later now.

It's not because it's taken a long time to get here that it will take a while to get there

There is a disproportionate parallel between to and fro. Nothing relates when time and position ensue. Peace is what we need to carry us through the disparate understanding our vulnerabilities observe.  Life is like that. These days I'm moving a lot more. The physical therapy is helping. I'm slowly starting to introduce some dancing plus I finally got my car back. At one point after a few wrong turns I thought it would take me forever to get back. But in no time I found the highway and was spit out near my destination. Similarly the same became obvious when after hours and hours of data entry, I accepted my lot and kept at it. But somehow I made it to that night's event wearing no makeup and the black business suit I had on. It felt good to be one of the "Ad boys". Sure..... Don't get me wrong,  I was still Mrs Trophy. Mr. Love won 5 tonight. He is mine... 

Home church was off the roof this week. We are talking about technology and it's been nice to find ways this month to either lay off of the new and better and/or have it enhance our worship. The first thing we did is use an app to listen to the Bible. It's the easiest way to start the day with the right kingdom perspective. My babes (seedlings) are growing. I'm still not sure what's gonna happen gardenwise this weekend. I accept overall that setting up the cottage is key. I wish I new of an Asparagus expert. Mine are going unto their 3rd year... meaning I could finally cultivate them. However, for lack of space, I planted them too close to each other and now they are in the way of the crop rotation I had in mind. The soil I bring should first go towards building that bed. Hopefully I'll get around to getting a ton of rocks as well. I miss it. So off to the Island we go for the weekend.

Tune in tune out

I was drenched the whole night through. Just Horrible... But I woke up with two fantastic hymns in my head and started to sing them out really loud like when I was at NBBI or signing next to Mom and Dad in church growing up. We still do whenever we get a chance. I love that I know so many of them. What a gift to out of the blue have a song that expresses Glory to God. I especially get them as soon as we travel down the river on our way to the Island. The city life is so busy that I don't think to hum random notes which always lead me to a hymn. Well, I do now... A month ago my life was brought to a head. The online group of lovely girls I was excitively involved with had a melt down and split then I was rear ended at a stop light. At first I did not feel it too much other then stiffness and headaches which I never get. But life could not go on as was customary. I had to make room for filling out papers and making calls to insurance companies. A big inconvenience but a great opportunity to activate some sort of change. So I went about finding purpose in it. I stopped trying to get online through any means possible and listening to the radio while driving. (I used to blast hard core heavy music not that that is something wrong.) The ongoing physical therapy, especially the 10 minutes of quiet where I lay in the dark with electric stimuli and a heat pad on my back has been wonderful. In the quiet, thoughts of the day hang within the lulls of my heart. It's like I have a life PVR.

Nature is a good pruner

When we got to the island with the airboat there was still snow and many big branches strewn across the ground. Mr. Love raised the cottage and fished while I trecked around the island with a shovel and a bucket, transplanting little pine trees that would otherwise die as soon as the water levels came up. I also got to prep my beds and add Potassium to my surprisingly Alcalin soil. With all the pine trees, I was sure I was dealing with an acidic ph. But hey that is good. Also, I finally believe I have a good idea where all my plants are going to go... for that I'm gonna need a lot more earth. ;)

Tipititop the Peregrins are back and so are the Squirrels and Chipmunk.  I feel more adventurous now that my back is getting better. Of course some movements are straining but it's nice to tie in my renewed sense of activity with physical therapy. This way I can be set straight and fluid ready to start working out again... and hopefully get to do the long awaited pile of laundry.

The Cucs and Sun Flowers seedlings are getting big already. We won't go back until 2 weekends. I hope I don't lose any on the trip up. I'll just have to put together the cold frame and hope they don't get too big.

I miss my little black car. Implementing a workflow software at the office is exciting. Now that I received my Vitamix, I'm putting together recipes for next week's juicing and pure cleanse.

Free as a bird

That is how I felt after experimenting Craniosacral therapy. I went in feeling extremely stiff and sore and came out light with a bounce in my step. Of course I still get tired and my neck and mid back is stiff but that is what the physical therapy is for. I must say that the laundry is pilling though. I took a crack at it on monday and found it extremely tiring to pick the wet clothes out of the washer and throw then into the dryer.... So I obviously crashed (went to bed) early. 


My tiny seedlings are already emerging out of their earth pods. I love this time of year even though it sure does not feel like spring... snow was blowing sideways on sunday. I'm on the look out for a light system for my lovelies.  I highly doubt they are getting enough daylight as is. Surprisingly it's not something you can just go out and buy at the Canadian Tire. 


The Herb Essencer I ordered is being shipped and my test pictures will be ready for pick up this week. 

Lemonade anyone?

Well I'm not one to complain but getting rear ended 2 weeks ago has taken a toll on me. I am seeing a Chiro and doing Physical therapy but what erks me is that I am faced with my vulnerability and humanness. Yep, I still think I am some sort of super hero that can take on anything. The worse is that I must stop working out and concentrate on rehabilitating my muscles. Being stiff and in pain is horrible.

I don't know why but I just seized up yesterday. Could be that I was not ready to work out, could be just what the Chiro says was gonna happen... That it was going to get worse before it got any better. The first week was relatively fine. I went to the office as usual but the afternoons got harder and harder.  I worked out twice and still felt fine.  This week I noticed that I have lost my sense of space... I bump into things and have closed both the car and fridge door on my face.

It's obvious that I am not ready to return to my regular life.  So I'm gonna make the best of it and do the Physical Therapy exercises that were given me to do and cut my work day in half. This week I set up a maid service to come clean weekly which will help.  I can't even pour my own bath. I guess this is what the insurance meant when they asked me if I have been able to resume my tasks.

In the mean time the seeds I planted are germinating, my garden earth is being tested, the weather is warming up and 4 pictures from my last photo shoot test are being printed.

Not sure if it's because the heat induced aromas of spring has yet to awake in me that innate longing  for wet growth but I'm reluctant to turn my carpeted living room into a green house again. So that is why I won't have the same amount of shelves as I did last year. At least that is the goal. I know, as soon as it get's warm I'm gonna start seeding just like every year. I just hope the 3.5hr trip to the garden will be good to my babies. Yes it's been a long and enjoyable winter filled with a little action, some hard work and a lot of key fun times as a family. Our Cottage renovations are coming along great. It will soon be time for me to gather rocks to enlarge my rock beds, set up the automatic irrigation and build trellises and fences of sorts. I'd like to finally figure out ways to prop up my plants against the winds. So far I've been waiting for my love to build me structures but I might have to figure things out relatively by myself again this year.

View from the Cottage

Herb and medicine garden

I'm going to start making essential oils from the herbs I grow. I'm just debating wether I should buy a 40L Still so I can package and sell or practice with a smaller one. I also want to get another for liquor and wines. Maybe Sarah knows. I'm all alone for the afternoon and night. Cary is running our supplies up north with a friend tonight. So I'll get to dance for 1hr then veg while creating in my mind next years garden. Have you been thinking of what you will plant? Every year I add more square footage to accommodate the rotation of my crops. That is why soil is always an issue for me. I've so far brought tons of earth bags that needs to be put in car, the boat, the wheel barrow, up the hill and opened. I hope to get a 4 wheeler this spring.

Copper Florentine Separator - Essencier tradenote.net

Copper Florentine Separator - Essencier tradenote.net: "Distilling Appliance 6l (electric Plate; Glass Thermometer)"

Upaya Naturals - Kitchen Appliances

Upaya Naturals - Kitchen Appliances

Vitamix Total Nutrition Center

Vitamix Total Nutrition Center

PRTTY PEAUSHUN

PRTTY PEAUSHUN

Amazon.com: Fun Factory Smartballs Tene Duo, Pink/Rose 1 ea: Health & Personal Care

Amazon.com: Fun Factory Smartballs Tene Duo, Pink/Rose 1 ea: Health & Personal Care

Soap bar names, how to show a smell by its name

Soap bar names, how to show a smell by its name

Soon I'll make some soap using my herbs.

The Viability of Manuka Honey's Rating Systems | Manuka Honey

The Viability of Manuka Honey's Rating Systems | Manuka Honey

I just bought some +16 Manuka Raw Honey and have been puting it on sprouted grain toast. I'm also interested in how I could put some on my face for a facial.